“You just have to let him tire himself out, wait til he falls asleep on the kitchen floor, and hope he hasn’t conspired with the dog to stage a coup”
While the network late night hosts did revel in Joe Biden’s victory over Donald Trump for a minute earlier this week, we’re now back to how things were before thanks to Trump’s ongoing attempts to stay on as an un-elected president. As Stephen Colbert put it during his “Late Show” monologue on Wednesday night, “getting this guy out of office is gonna be a bumpy ride.”
“It has been five days since it became clear that Joe Biden won the election, at which point the current president refused to concede, duct taped himself to the Resolute Desk, and slapped a sign on the Oval Office door that says ‘No Dems Allowed.’ He’s like a toddler too hopped up on sugar to go to bed,” Colbert mocked.
“There’s no reasoning with him at this point. You just have to let him tire himself out, wait til he falls asleep on the kitchen floor, and hope he hasn’t conspired with the dog to stage a coup. And I’ll give you the latest in my over-in-70-days segment.”
Then “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” pulled up a funny little title video in which a cartoon Trump yells “coup d’etat” over and over again, before a narrator reads the segment name: “The Road From the White House.”
“Well buckle up, buddy boys, because getting this guy out of office is gonna be a bumpy ride. Yesterday, the administration removed senior defense officials and installed loyalists triggering alarm at the Pentagon. And I’m being told we have footage of that alarm,” Colbert said.
Cut to a video of a public address system speaker, with the sound of Trump screaming “I won” repeatedly over the sound of an air raid siren.
“Presidents don’t usually sack top defense officials when they’re planning to leave office of a couple of months. One defense official put it this way: ‘This is scary. It’s very unsettling. These are dictator moves. Yes, but they have inspired an exciting new Maroon 5 remix,” Colbert said, before presenting another goofy little video his staff put together.
This time, it was a video of Trump doing his awful “YMCA” dance over a hastily altered version of “Moves Like Jagger” — this time it’s “Moves Like Stalin.”
“If that’s not dictator-y enough for you, dear leader was unhappy with these officials in part because they ‘resisted the president’s entreaties to make available military weaponry, including tanks and jets, for Trump-orchestrated holiday displays’” Colbert said.
“Oh yeah, because it’s not the Thanksgiving Day parade until you see Santa riding his Christmas nuke.”
You can check out the entirety of Colbert’s monologue from Wednesday night’s episode of “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” in the video embedded up at the top of this article.
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