My prison pen pal is being released and wants a relationship – but I’m married

DEAR DEIDRE: MY prison pen pal is due to be released soon and plans to move near me so we can start a relationship. But I’ve not told him I’m married.

There was a very difficult patch in my marriage when I found out that my husband had been seeing another woman. I am 31, he’s 33.


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I started writing to this prisoner. At first we just swapped information about ourselves but then he sent me a birthday card and got his mum to send flowers.

He is 40. We speak on the phone most days. He says he loves me and I am falling in love with him too.

I know I must tell him I am married but I’m scared he won’t speak to me again.

DEIDRE SAYS: You will not know whether you are right long-term until you meet face to face and get to know one another.

But it is unfair to keep him in the dark.

Tell him now so he knows the true basis on which he can plan for the future. Meanwhile, talk to your husband about sorting your marriage problems – or even about calling it a day.

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