‘My partner is nasty but I don’t want to dump him because he’s a beast in bed’

A Daily Star reader told Just Jane: "My lover is a really horrible person – but I can’t help fancying the pants off him.

"Not only is he selfish and vain but he also doesn’t give a hoot about other people.

"At the moment his parents are poorly and his sister is unemployed, but it would never cross his mind to phone them.

"While we’ve been together he’s had feuds with colleagues and stand-up fights with neighbours.

"If he senses weakness in a person, he swoops. His ex-business partner was having problems with his son who was hooked on drugs.

"My guy waited until his partner needed cash for rehab then bought him out for a song and boasted about it for months.

"When I dared to suggest that he’d deliberately kicked a man when he was down, he accused me of being sentimental and weak. But that’s what he’s like.

"The flip side is that he’s a beast in bed. He is a passionate, inventive and energetic lover. Our sex sessions last for hours and he never fails to make me scream.

"Some of the things he says and does are very naughty, but I hate myself for fancying him and craving his touch when he’s such an unscrupulous slug. Do the two things have to go hand-in-hand?

"He and I break up and make up all the time.

"I’ve been to bed with loads of other guys, but none match up to him.

"Am I only ever going to be satisfied by a man who makes King Herod look like Little Bo Peep? That prospect makes me feel very despondent and sad."

JANE SAYS: Your lover sounds like a person with a lot of energy and passion.

In everyday life he is ruthless and driven. He cheerfully exploits those who are weak and vulnerable and totally ignores those who are in need.

At the moment his parents and sister could do with a leg-up, but it doesn’t cross his mind to reach out or help as they are of no use to him.

Clearly you don’t like or respect the man much but crawl back to his bed because he’s edgy and exciting – and shows you a good time.

He may not have a kind bone in his body, but he is like catnip to you.

Ultimately, this is your life, and you must live it as you see it but you don’t sound very happy.

Is great sex with him worth the feelings of self-loathing?

You say that you occasionally try sex with other guys, but none match up, but what other guy stands a chance when this brute is forever looming in the background?

You have to be able to look yourself in the mirror and like what you see.

At the moment you’re witnessing him treating others badly, but that could be you one day.

Nothing ties you to him except sex. If you don’t love or respect the man, force yourself to break away.

Try to live independently; come to terms with who you are again and plan a better future as a person in your own right.

If you don’t then I fear there may be some disappointing times ahead.

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