DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband ran up debts of £70,000 as he struggled to cope with the emotional rollercoaster of IVF.
We have had four failed rounds over the past six years. We are looking at using donor eggs and sperm for the next round but it is a massive step for my husband.
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He keeps refusing.
I’m 39 and my husband is 41.
I’ve helped him with his debts and they are way down but it has massively affected my credit rating, as we have a mortgage and some joint accounts.
He needs to build his credit rating back up too.
I worry so much, as he does strange things such as not paying his bills and saving the money instead.
I want our finances to be joint, as I don’t trust him.
DEIDRE SAYS: Many men struggle with feelings of failure if they can’t father a child naturally.
The money worries may be a way of finding a distraction.
Tell him you both need support for your distress over your fertility problems.
Contact Fertility Network UK for understanding (fertilitynetworkuk.org, 01424 732361).
He has to pay off his debts.
My e-leaflet on Solving Debt Problems will help.
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