DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband is almost certainly dying of cancer but won’t even talk to me.
We hadn’t been getting on but I was still worried for him when he started suffering painful symptoms and losing weight. He is 66 and I’m 59.
He was admitted to hospital a couple of months ago. He rarely wanted me to visit.
He said I get him down and preferred to see his brother or our son, who is 34.
He phoned me to say the hospital had found cancer and it couldn’t be treated, then I only found out he’d left hospital when his brother asked me to bring him some clothes over to his place.
My husband can’t manage stairs and they have a bungalow.
I get that he must be confused, terrified and in shock but I can’t get over the way he has treated me.
Do I keep waiting, hoping he will want me, or walk away?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Shutting you out is part of your husband’s denial, trying to pretend that this isn’t really happening.
Maybe he’s scared of your tears.
Don’t walk – you’d never forgive yourself if he asks for you.
My e-leaflet Has Someone Close To You Had Cancer Diagnosed? helps.
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