Strap in, you’re in for a wild ride. This story involves poo, a park, and a virus.
A mum-of-three who took her children to the park for a bit of playtime did not expect to be covered in poo by the end of it.
Brittany Berry, from Kentucky, was trying to clean up her daughter Sadie, who she suspected had peed in her nappy.
The 33-year-old had spotted the droopy diaper and gotten out the wipes to clean it up. When she opened the nappy, however, there was an explosion of faeces that she described as a ‘poop-trophe’.
It was a kind of ‘newborn poo’, she said, that goes down the back, legs and other tricky bits. So she did what she could, stripping Sadie down.
To her horror, she ran out of wipes and while she rummaged in her bag for more, a wild Sadie ran off, continuing her outdoor fun.
She merrily went down the slide, smearing poo all over the thing. A mortified Brittany attempted to clean it up as soon as possible, racing to grab more wipes.
But the cleanup mission didn’t go smoothly. There were parts of the slide Brittany couldn’t reach, so she decided the best option would be to go down the slide feetfirst, wiping up the poo as she went.
Of course, this meant she ended up streaked in poo, too, all in front of an audience of other parents.
Brittany narrated the series of events that led to her driving home in her bra.
She wrote: ‘I realise it’s a poop-trophe. I’m talking one of them poops you usually see in a newborn, where it’s all up then back and down their legs and you contemplate just throwing the whole baby away.
‘I start cleaning her up and there’s only FOUR wipes. This isn’t a four wipe kind of poop it’s pressure washer or open fire hydrant kind of poop.
‘I turn my back, frantically searching for more wipes. Nothing. I had just cleaned out the van yesterday.
‘Then I hear it that painful SQQQUUUEEEAAAKKKKK of skin getting stuck to a plastic slide on the way down.
‘I look up and yes, of course, it’s Sadie. She’s going down the slide, butt naked, COVERED in poop, leaving a long skid mark of poop allllllll the way down on her way.’
Thankfully the park was empty at the time but Brittany wanted to clean it up before other kids wanted to play.
She added: ‘There’s no way I’m leaving my kids’ slug trail of possibly contagious faeces on this playground so some other kid can get sick.’
She went to her house five minutes away, picked up some more wipes and then rushed back, but left her kids in her van while she cleaned up the poo.
‘Eventually, I get the brilliant idea to go down the slide and wipe as I go,’ Brittany wrote on Facebook. ‘I did not look elegant or attractive, I’m sure.
‘When I get to the bottom, I’m finally satisfied with my cleaning job, I turn and see a car parked, a family, all of them with glaring at me.
‘I dunno how long they were there. I never heard them pull up.’
When she realised that she hadn’t left the slide unscathed, Britanny had to strip down to her bra to avoid getting the remaining poop in the car.
She updated her followers saying the family are showered and okay now, albeit somewhat traumatised.
She hopes the story serves as a reminder to use birth control for the younger generation.
‘If you aren’t mentally, emotionally, and physically prepared to roll around in another person’s faeces… use a condom,’ she wrote.
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