DEAR DEIDRE: I CAME out of a long-term relationship just before Covid arrived and the last year hasn’t exactly been ideal for getting out and meeting someone new.
I started feeling really lonely and I have a high sex drive so I just had to do something . . . and now I’ve got into the habit of paying for sex.
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I am 34 and take care of my appearance. I normally don’t ever have problems attracting women.
But I’m a restaurant manager and have been furloughed. I live in a shared house with three other men and normally wouldn’t ever have gone down this road.
In the last year I’ve been with five different hookers.
I don’t go with prostitutes who work the streets, I’ve found women in brothels or who work from their own houses in my home city.
I felt pretty ashamed but the sex is really good and I soon got used to the routines.
In the beginning I told myself it was easier than getting emotionally involved.
But I do have to admit, I have been missing everything else that makes a relationship . . . the chats about rubbish, the cuddles, the friendship.
I told myself that I would only do it once or twice, then that I would only go with hookers until I could have a relationship.
But now I’ve started paying my favourite prostitute for more time.
We always used to meet at her flat, but now she comes to mine.
She is the fittest out of all five and I could see her socialising with my friends and fitting in.
We have sex, then settle down to watch TV and have a snuggle on the sofa for an extra hour.
But she never stays a second longer than I have paid her for.
I am hoping that she will start to fall for me, as I am for her, and want to stay longer.
How can I persuade her to stay?
Need a night’s sleep?
Is your partner’s snoring keeping you awake?
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DEIDRE SAYS: I hate to pour cold water on your fantasies but you need to be realistic.
She’s doing a job and doesn’t sound the slightest bit interested in spending any time with you if she isn’t being paid to do so.
You need to have a serious talk and ask her what she wants.
But remember, sex risks spreading coronavirus. If she isn’t interested in a relationship, you must stop seeing her – and other sex workers.
My leaflet Feeling Lonely will help. While we can’t socialise as normal there are safe ways to form new friendships.
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