I found a sex toy my wife has been hiding and it makes me feel awful

DEAR DEIDRE: I FOUND a sex toy my wife has been hiding in the bottom of her wardrobe and it makes me feel awful.

I asked her if she wanted one a long time ago when our sex life was better.

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 She didn’t at that time but I now wonder how long she has been using one.

I wish she’d asked me first if it would bother me or, if she’d changed her mind, asked me to buy her one after all.

I think she may know that I’ve found it as she’s being prickly. I’m 44 and she is 41.

DEIDRE SAYS: Tensions are being created on both sides by secrecy.

Say to your wife as lightly as you can: “Hey, I was looking for . . . and I see you decided to get a sex toy after all. Can I join in the fun sometimes?”

It is OK to enjoy self-pleasure, so don’t pressure her too much for a detailed response. Why not suggest you incorporate her toy into your shared sex life?

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