AMANDA PLATELL: Channel 4 show 'My First Threesome' leaves me aghast

AMANDA PLATELL: It’s a sin for Channel 4 to stoop to such depths with its ‘gruesome and exploitative’ new show ‘My First Threesome’

Like many who lost friends during the 1980s to HIV-Aids, I wept watching Channel 4’s It’s A Sin, the brilliant but heart-rending portrayal of what it was like for gay men with the Sword of Damocles hanging over their heads.

In the 1990s, C4’s Big Breakfast launched many a star — from Chris Evans and Denise van Outen to Johnny Vaughan — and tragically introduced Paula Yates to her final lover Michael Hutchence on the big bed. 

It was the first station to give an unknown cook by the name of Nigella Lawson a platform.

C4 has been innovative and ahead of the curve in broadcasting. Yet its latest offering leaves me aghast.

It is a programme called My First Threesome, one it claims is a ground-breaking sociological experiment based on the fact that 97 per cent of men and 87 per cent of women fantasise about a threesome.

It follows such hapless real-life characters as receptionist Laura, 24, who tells viewers she felt ‘completely liberated’ having sex with a friend as well as a woman they picked up in a sex club. 

C4 has been innovative and ahead of the curve in broadcasting. Yet its latest offering leaves me aghast. It is a programme called My First Threesome (pictured), one it claims is a ground-breaking sociological experiment based on the fact that 97 per cent of men and 87 per cent of women fantasise about a threesome

One chap who refused to be identified said that it was ‘like live porn, yet you’re in it’.

There’s lots of random sex, lots of people fulfilling their fantasies and plenty of triple-X language. 

There’s a proud self-identifying ‘queer pansexual’ woman covered in tattoos who messages a potential partner while her boyfriend sits next to her. The message is too crude repeat.

Pink Floyd bass guitarist Roger Waters, 78, marries for the fifth time to his former driver Kamilah Chavis, half his age, and says his new wife is ‘a keeper’. Sadly, ten years from now when he’s pushing 90, she’ll also be his carer.

We’ve only had one episode, but the show promises it will track three couples being filmed having their first ‘threesome’ with strangers.

It is gruesome and exploitative, a shocking new low for the channel, and should never be shown on a publicly owned broadcaster. 

I’m no Mary Whitehouse — I secretly enjoy Married At First Sight, the Australian series about couples who meet for the first time at their wedding.

Yet I believe in this show women like Laura are being exploited by Channel 4. 

How will she ever work again after revealing the black basque and stockings she wore for her threesome, her fantasy lived out and paraded in front of millions?

My First Threesome raises serious questions over the future of the channel, created by Margaret Thatcher to provide cutting-edge shows, funded by advertising.

The new Secretary of State for Culture and Media, Nadine Dorries, has declared war on state broadcasters that do not pass the already low bar of excellence.

One fears it won’t just be receptionist Laura who is soon out of a job.

Curls allowed 

Former Little Mix singer Jesy Nelson is accused of ‘blackfishing’ in her latest pop video, pretending to be a black person when you are actually white.

She says her new look was down to a deep tan she got from three weeks in Antigua and letting her straightened hair go wild with her natural curls — no offence or cultural misappropriation intended.

To which I must add that, as an Aussie in these judgmental days, I promise I’m not trying to pretend I’m an Aboriginal woman now I’ve let my hair go naturally curly.

Former Little Mix singer Jesy Nelson is accused of ‘blackfishing’ in her latest pop video, pretending to be a black person when you are actually white

The curse of Strictly has taken a new twist this year, with McFly singer Tom Fletcher missing two weeks with Covid, the comedian Robert Webb exiting with heart problems and now the former rugby player Ugo Monye retiring injured with a bad back. 

Thank goodness we still have the irresistible, larger than life comedian Judi Love to roll out the barrel of Strictly happiness.

Thank goodness we still have the irresistible, larger than life comedian Judi Love to roll out the barrel of Strictly happiness

Sad that Paul McCartney engages in a public row with Mick Jagger, deriding the Rolling Stones as a ‘blues cover band’. 

Macca is worth £820 million, Jagger £310 million; the Beatles sold 600 million albums, the Stones 240 million; the Fab Four were together for seven years while the Stones tour on seven decades later. 

To Macca we gently whisper: ‘Let it be’.

Westminster wars

  • No surprise that the GP’s union is outraged by Sajid Javid’s plans to get doctors back to face-to-face work. Sometimes they forget it’s us taxpayers who fork out £212 billion a year for the NHS while the GP’s union has consistently prioritised their members’ salaries (around £100,000) and conditions above their day job of seeing patients.
  • Doesn’t it make a mockery of saving the world from climate change when 30,000 foreign dignitaries from 200 countries will descend in carbon-spewing jets on Glasgow for the Cop26 climate change summit next month, and when the leaders of two of the the largest polluters, China and Saudi Arabia, have so far declined to attend?
  • So poor Keir Starmer couldn’t reverse an HGV without crashing. Most of us wouldn’t trust him behind the wheel of a Mini to drive Granny to the local Tesco, let alone run the country.

 

Wayne Rooney is paid a reported £1 million for his warts-and-all documentary complete with confessions about his infidelities, prostitutes, his drink-driving convictions and repeated humiliation of wife Coleen. 

He implores us to ‘remember me for who I am rather than what I’ve done’. 

Yes, the same thick lad who in his personal life is remembered for one thing — scoring own goals.

Spare us eco rock

Coldplay’s Chris Martin says their 2022 concerts will run on 100 per cent renewable energy, they will plant a tree for each ticket sold, and every time someone dances they will generate carbon-free energy to power the lights.

The band and their entourage will still travel on private jets to their concerts in Germany, Paris, Costa Rica, Mexico, Los Angeles, Chicago, Brussels and three gigs in London, to name but a few.

Bless this soppy songster for naively thinking he can be a jet-setting international rock star and an eco-warrior. The one thing he can’t ‘fix’, though, is his latest album.

Our reviewer Adrian Thrills denounced it as ‘disappointingly run-of-the-mill’ and gave it two stars.

What is more shocking about the stabbing to death by a mob of local thugs of Afghan refugee Hazrat Wali, 18?

That he was described by friends as ‘a very caring person who stood up for everyone’ yet was murdered in a school playing field in leafy, respectable Twickenham, South-West London, in the middle of the afternoon?

Or that, as a refugee, he was living all alone? We have a duty of care for lads like Hazrat. It’s not enough to give them refuge here, we also have to protect them.

Just call them dowdy frocks

Opinion is divided over Primark’s decision to rename its maternity range a ‘parenting collection’. One mum asked: ‘What dad needs clothes when the woman is pregnant?’

The rebranding is part of an attempt not to offend the teeny minority of trans people. 

Jolly good, but viewing the range of dowdy outfits why not just describe them as ‘big floaty frocks and elasticised pants which look equally hideous on her, him, them or anyone who identifies with cheap horrible outfits’.

Holocaust survivor and author Eddie Jaku has died aged 101. 

Despite the atrocities he endured, his memoirs recall the most important things he learnt were the importance of the three aitches — ‘Hope, Health and Happiness’. 

And the secret to happiness was ‘life is beautiful if you let it be, remember you are lucky to be alive, every breath is a gift’. Amen to that.

Holocaust survivor and author Eddie Jaku has died aged 101

£65 candle not a bright idea 

Following in the lucrative footsteps of Gwyneth Paltrow and her £69 Goop vagina-scented candles, This Morning’s wholesome Holly Willoughby has released her own candle, smelling of her own essence at an eye-watering £65. 

Sorry Holly, but what woman in her right mind would cough up their entire weekly food shopping bill to smell like, er, vanilla? 

Following in the lucrative footsteps of Gwyneth Paltrow and her £69 Goop vagina-scented candles, This Morning’s wholesome Holly Willoughby has released her own candle, smelling of her own essence at an eye-watering £65

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