It can be tough to fit dating into your already busy schedule. Personally, I barely have time to watch The Bold Type (or floss, but that’s less of a big deal), so you better believe it’s hard for me to make time to meet up with someone I don’t know very well (or at all) for a first date. Still, if you’re busy like me and trying to date, it’s useful to get some helpful tips for dating when you have a busy schedule. To get the answers you need, I spoke with the experts.
I’ve had times in my life when I went out on dates all the time. I had a chill job, and my evenings were mostly open. But because I was seeing so many different people, I ended up going on a lot of bad dates. Now, I’m a lot busier, and more selective about who I go out with, so I feel like the quality of each date is much better. The good news is that even if you’re busy, your dating life can still be amazing. However, it takes me a while to find someone I like (who also likes me — I always forget that other side of the coin), so I need to find better strategies for dating with a busy schedule. Fortunately, I got the deets for you.
Read on to find four helpful tips for dating when your schedule is jam-packed.
1. Dating Apps
According to the experts, dating apps can be key to fitting dating into your busy schedule. "Make the decision to make dating a priority," Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent couples therapist in Los Angeles, tells Elite Daily. "Use dating apps as they can save you time, especially when you’re busy." You can swipe through a larger number of people, which means you’re more likely to find someone whose schedule, location, and chemistry is a total fit.
2. Ask A Friend To Hold You Accountable
I’ve found it easier to achieve my goals when I let friends in on them. Experts agree. "Ask a friend to help you be accountable and who will encourage — but not nag — you to date," Dr. Brown says. "Let people know that you are interested in dating. They may know of some fellow singles who are also interested." If you put it out there that you’re looking to date, your friends can help keep you on track, so you make it a priority in a busy schedule. While this doesn’t work for everyone (some people like to keep their goals more private), if you’re someone who enjoys manifesting their future, this trick is for you!
3. Assess How You Feel About Dating
Sometimes, the problem isn’t that you can’t make time for dating — it’s that you simply don’t want to. "It can be possible that you may feel like you’re too busy to date," Dr. Brown says. "More often than not, it isn’t so much a matter of time, but whether or not you truly desire to have a love life." It’s totally OK and normal to not want to date right now, so if you feel like it’s not a priority for you, don’t pressure yourself to do it. In fact, it may be relaxing for you to stop even telling yourself you’re going to date, because then you can open up mental space to focus on other things. Often times, when we take a beat to tend to our mental health and overall wellness, we can open ourselves up to new possibilities. Take care of yourself first and foremost, and the rest may follow.
4. Work With A Partner’s Busy Schedule
You could also be seeing someone who seems too busy to date, and then you have two schedules to balance — which is tricky. "If you really like someone, you will likely find the time to date them," Dr. Brown says. "The same is true for the person you are dating. Here’s the key thing to remember: if they are really into you, they will find the time." Consider figuring out scheduling needs with the person you’re seeing by deciding date nights ahead of time — don’t just wait for the two of you to both be free. Similarly, if you’re not seeing anyone regularly, you could try committing yourself to the same date nights every week and finding someone via your network or dating apps to go out with (unless you want to take a break, which is always OK). Being careful about scheduling can be so helpful, especially when you or the person you’re seeing are tight on time.
In this day and age, it can honestly be tough to find the time to date. I personally have scheduled dates for Saturday mornings just to fit them into a busy schedule. Of course, you can choose to work around your packed life, or you can choose not to date right now — both are totally fine. But if you’re looking to fit dating in to the every day, consider taking this expert advice, and go out and enjoy! Above all, make sure that you’re serving yourself and listening to your intuition. You know what’s best for you!
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