Sideswipe: December 17: Advice on roll of ribbon

The greatest 70s household dangers

1. The 50 cent piece in the Christmas pudding. Chipped teeth, emergency deployment of the Heimlich manoeuvre and various nasty conditions caused by “retrieving” the accidentally swallowed coin.

2. Passive smoking. Nicotine life.

3. Piles. Sitting on anything cold definitely gave you piles.

4. Last in the bath. At best, verrucas. At worst, conjunctivitis. Mild hypothermia a danger in the winter.

5. The egg beater. The weapon of choice in sibling household disputes. Caused our sisters’ hair to be almost shaved. Twice.

6. The working-class shower. Burnt scalp with a side order of waterboarding.

7. The sinister pressure cooker. We were terrified of it. A bomb in every kitchen.

8. Mild alcohol poisoning from drinking the stuff that nobody else would touch while babysitting.

9. The electric carving knife. The self-proclaimed “head of the house” wobbling in from the pub, insisting that he cuts the roast. Ten minutes later: at best struggling to pick up his knife and fork with his bandaged hands. At worst, looking for his finger-end in the gravy.

(Via Memorial Device @memorialdevice)

Bad real estate photos

Driving test in the 50s

Michael writes: “When I was just old enough to sit my driving test way back in the 1950s, I was told to meet the driving test examiner in a bar down by the harbour. Until this time, I had lessons from my girlfriend in her Mini, who cautioned me never to engage fourth gear and not to exceed 35mph under any circumstances. So, when this chap saw me arrive, he promptly purchased two large beers and said: ‘Right ho, let’s see if we can take a whizz around the block and be back here before these beers go flat.’ That sort of put the pressure on a nervous young lad to speed up a notch but the ways of the world are strange indeed and I am glad to say we made it back in time, so I was duly awarded my licence on the spot.”

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