A South Australian Council Just Banned Having More Than Two Cats Per Property And I Am On Board

Hear ye hear ye, crazy cat people of Oz!

South Australia just made a helluva lot of feline enemies, with Mount Barker council in Adelaide moving to introduce a strict limit of two cats per property.

And not to be ~controversial~ or anything…but I AM HERE FOR IT.

^Me, revelling in the news.

That’s right, gentle reader — not all BuzzFeeders love the demon spawn you call the common house cat.

I, for one, think Mount Barker is obviously a hot box of Australia’s most revolutionary minds.

They are leading us out of the darkness, into a bright future.

From 2020, cat owners in the area will have to register their pets with the council and make sure they’re locked indoors between 8 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Fines will be handed out for cats caught outside during curfew and ~covert surveillance~ will even be set up to monitor suspected nuisance cats.

Owners can also be fined if their cats are caught killing native wildlife, or shitting all over neighbours’ properties.

I once walked down my driveway to find a cat eating a lorikeet and I swear that bastard gave me the biggest, blood-soaked smile.

Ann Ferguson, the mayor of Mount Barker, says the crackdown has come about because of community outcry about the behaviour of local cats.

And while they don’t want to “vilify” cats or their owners, something needs to be done to curb bad behaviour.

So if you were planning on settling in as Mount Barker’s resident cat lady, looks like you might need to relocate to a more feline-friendly postcode.

And I’d be happy to take up squatting in your residence.

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