1.Good luck reading “homeowner” without thinking “ho-meow-ner” now:

2.It’s all about punctuation and emphasis:

3.You ever just like, think about contractions?

4.Somehow this makes perfect sense:

5.Also, breakfast:

6.All of this checks out:

7.Hey, did you know we’re the only language that spells competitively?

8.Yep, nobody else does that.

9.But spelling is nothing compared to all the hidden rules in English:

10.Like, given a basic understanding of suffixes, one would assume this is true:

11.Or if you were learning, these would sound like the exact same thing:

12.These are hard to understand even if you’ve been speaking English your whole life:

13.BTW, if you’re a writer, ignore people who tell you not to use the word “said”:

14.And don’t let anyone tell you that a word isn’t real:

15.In fact, go ahead and “verb” a noun!

16.Because frankly, nothing in this language makes a lick of sense:

17.But hey, at least we’re not ~these~ languages:

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