After traversing a couple of back-to-back public breakups (think that messy split with Justin Bieber that fans still bring up today and her romance with The Weeknd) and handling multiple health issues, Selena Gomez has come to a place of peace.
The Only Murders in the Building actress opened up to The Hollywood Reporter about what she experienced during the five years between her second album, Revival, which dropped in 2015, and her third album from 2020, Rare.
“I was, you know, obviously going through a really tough breakup, and then I was left with the question of my career and where am I gonna go and what’s gonna happen?” Selena said, “And then my medical stuff kind of kicked in — I was dealing with my lupus and I was dealing with some kidney problems. It was actually really hard.”
She continued, “But, being on the other side of it, I have to be honest, it’s actually been really good for me. It allowed me to develop a character where I don’t tolerate any sort of nonsense or disrespect in any way, and I’m really proud of how I came out of it.”
But the singer is surprisingly thankful for both the ups and the downs, saying that “It was necessary for me to walk through those things. I had a lot of soul-searching to do.”
“By all means, I don’t have life figured out,” she added, “But I do know that during that time I was learning so much about myself.”
Selena also took the time to reflect on her life in the public eye, saying that once the paparazzi started scrutinizing her every move “I felt a little bit constricted.”
She added that “I think that’s when I lost a little bit of my being a kid. Later in life, I realized that I missed out on a lot.”
And moving out of the public perception that she was a “just” a child star was difficult for Gomez.“I felt like it was very difficult for people to take me seriously… I have slowly pushed through that, and I’m really glad, but it was very frustrating. I felt like a joke, you know?”
And now that she is taken seriously by the industry (hello, Golden Globe nominations!) what does she want now? Well, Selena has quite a few things. For starters, she’s now looking up to her Only Murders in the Building co-stars Steve Martin and Martin Short as role models for the partner she wants to have.
“Being around two adult gentlemen — because that’s what they are, they are very sweet and kind and hilarious and inappropriate sometimes and it’s the best—I just learned so much,” Selena said. “And my expectation for a man, to be honest, or any human, is to be as decent as these two human beings are. They have been doing this longer than I’ve been alive, and they are the kindest people.”
But she’s not in a rush to find love as she’s booked and busy.
“My therapist is like, ‘Girl, are you ever gonna find a man?!’ I’m like, ‘I dunno'” she said, “But I do feel like right now, in my life, I am just so open, and I love what I do … I just am in a really good space right now, and I’m enjoying it.”
As for handling those haters, Selena says as she approaches the big 3-0, she’s learned to not give them the time of day.
“I find that my toleration for any sort of discomfort, usually disrespect or whatever, even just unnecessary stuff,” she said. “I feel so glad that it’s not taking over me anymore.”
We love to see an unbothered queen!
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